Sohmer of “Least I Could Do” fame recently created a satirical video that, towards the end, claimed that Emo is this generations Hippie. Watch it and see.

As funny as I found the video, and the comment, I couldn’t help but wonder if he’s right. So, to prove it one way, or another, I’ve created a list of comparable qualities of the stereotypical Emo and Hippie.

1. Image

• Emo
  Typically garbed in drab, worn, holly jeans, chords, hoodies, plaid and sketchers. All of which can be obtained from a thrift store. Short black hair, black fingernails and black eyes make this raccoon easy to pick out from a crowd.

• Hippie
  Often spotted in colourful, worn, patched jeans, shorts, t-shirts, blouses and sandals. Choice garments can be obtained from yard sales, thrift stores, and garbage dumps. Long unkempt but natural hair, paired with rose coloured glasses are a sure sign of a tree hugger.

2. Hangouts

• Emo
  Emo’s are rarely found in groups larger than three. Typical hangouts are schools, chat rooms and concrete jungles.

• Hippie
  Hippies are rarely found in groups smaller than three. Typical hangouts are libraries, universities, and green lawns.

3. Common Slogans

• Emo
  “I hate you!”, “I’m so confused!” and “Life is hard!”

• Hippie
  “Peace!”, “Stick it to the man!” and “Make love not war!”

4. Personality

• Emo
  Introverted and outwardly depressed, the typical Emo is concerned only with his own problems. Cracking a nail, getting dumped, or having to stay in on a Friday night are all things that could send an Emo spiraling down into a prolonged pit of despair.

• Hippie
  Extroverted and perpetually happy, the typical Hippie is concerned about global issues. Discussing war, starving Africans or
  Styrofoam cups in the presence of a hippie will earn you a stern lecture.

5. Problem Solving Skills

• Emo
  Emo’s have perfected the hissy-fit. Crying, screaming, foot stomping and head banging are all elements of the typical Emo’s tool set. In extreme cases (such as “Mom made me eat my supper”) suicide is seen as an acceptable option.

• Hippie
  Hippies have perfected the art of indolence. Its not atypical to find a hippie participating in any number of sit-ins, rallies or hunger strikes during work hours. As a final act of protest, hippies will chain themselves to inanimate objects to stifle change.

6. Choice Mode of Transportation

• Emo
  Skateboard or bike

• Hippie
  Diesel van or bus

7. Musical Influences

• Emo
  Fallout Boy, Simple Plan and My Chemical Romance

• Hippie
  Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchel and Big Brother and the Holding Company

As we can see, Emo’s and Hippies are quite different. But the point Sohmer makes is valid. They are both lazy, useless drains on society.

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